Summer 2015 Newsletter
Best Wishes
As 2015 draws to a close, on behalf f the Conflict Resolution Centre I take the opportunity to thank all
colleagues, friends and clients a Merry Christmas and all the best for 2016.
Professional Supervision
The Conflict Resolution Centre provides Professional Supervision for mediators.
See the video at https://www.conflictresolutioncentre.com.au/professional-supervision.html
Resolution Institute
The amalgamation of LEADR and IAMA continues with the selection of "Resolution Institute" as the name of the new organisation.
An election was recently held with the following being elected as Directors at the Annual General Meeting on 26 November:-
Mark Beech, Alysoun Boyle, Jon Everest, John Fisher, Margaret Halsmith, Rosemary Howell, Jeanette Kinahan, Russell Thirgood and David Watt.
The Conflict Resolution Centre congratulates those elected and looks forward to being a part of the Institute in 2016.
National Mediation Conference - September 2016
The bi-annual National Mediation Conference 2016 will commence with pre-conference workshops at the Sofitel Gold Coast on Sunday 11 September 2016. The Conference itself is Monday 12 – Wednesday, 14 September 2016 at the Gold Coast Convention and Exhibition Centre on the Gold Coast, Queensland.
A specific Dispute Resolution Research Forum will be held post-conference on Thursday, 15 September 2016 at Bond University. Attendance at this Research Forum is included in the cost of the Conference.
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
Spring 2015 Newsletter
The integration of LEADR and IAMA
The integration of LEADR and IAMA which commenced early this year, has taken another significant step with the announcement of its new name. After engaging consultants the name selected is Resolution Institute.
The decision was announced shortly before the session of Kon Gres 2015 held in Brisbane on 11 September .
The Conflict Resolution Centre takes this opportunity to wish the Resolution Institute every success in the future.
The Resolution Institute Practitioner Awards
Congratulations to the CEO of Australian Mediations Association, Mr Callum Campbell who was presented with The Practitioner Award for contribution to the professional development of others in Dispute Resolution, at Kon Gres 2015 in Brisbane.
Mr Campbell told the Conflict Resolution Centre that he was very honoured to receive the award from fellow practitioners and is looking forward to new and innovative ways for professional development.
Communication will help to avoid escalating a conflict
Conflicts are a part of our lives. Whether it is in a social setting, at home or at work, they will test our ability to manage them. The workplace is where conflicts very commonly appear, due to many reasons, such as elevated levels of stress, competition or just differing personal opinions. In these situations, a normal conversation usually is the way for the persons involved to communicate with each other and restore the relationship. If each person is able to communicate their views, the chance of finding a solution that will suit both is increased.
Communication done in a proper way may restore a relationship regardless of the environment where the conflict takes place. Not only will it decrease the tension, but it can also lead to a settlement of an issue that, left unresolved, might have detrimental effects on, not only interpersonal relationships, but in the workplace, an organisation's productivity.
Wikepdia has a comprehensive definition of Communication :
Communication (from Latin commūnicāre, meaning "to share") is the purposeful activity of information exchange between two or more participants in order to convey or receive the intended meanings through a shared system of signs and semiotic rules. The basic mechanism of communication is, the ideas/thoughts of the sender is encoded and transmitted to the receiver through a medium wherein the receiver receives the message and decoded it; to understand the message of the sender.
The definition recognises that communication is not limited to talking, it can be achieved by other means. The persons in dispute could communicate with each other by letter, email, text etc
.
If we prepare ourselves we should be able to raise the issues in dispute with the other person. in preparation we should consider:
However we may be reluctant to communicate directly with the other person, out of fear of the reaction or our relationship with that person, such as in the case of an employer and employee.
In those cases professional assistance may be required. We may need coaching in how to handle our conflict or a third party to assist with the communication.
The Conflict Resolution Centre is able to assist on those occasions by conflict management coaching or conducting a mediation.
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
Negotiators fail to end "mite" war
You either love it or loath it- the yeast based spread that generations of Australians have slavishly spread on fresh bread and toast.
To its detractors it is a salty, dark viscous spread that ruins a tasteful breakfast. Its admirers swear by its tangy flavour and health benefits. Few people remain neutral on its attractiveness or repulsion. Most Australians know the product as Vegemite. The English are addicted to their equivalent brand, Marmite.
Now two companies are arguing about the word "mite" and the question of whether the word is the exclusive property of one of two parties and two competing products.
In one corner is entrepreneur and aviation explorer Dick Smith, who produces OzEmite, and in the other corner is company Director Roger Ramsay. Mr Ramsay produces a yeast extract called Aussiemite.
Roger Ramsay has been successful in obtaining an order from Intellectual Property Australia that Dick Smith removes the OzEmite name from the trademark register. Both parties claim the ownership of their products and wish the other to be prohibited from using the name in any way shape or form. Mr Smith is now appealing that decision in the Federal Court.
As with most wars, the costs have been high for both sides and again, as in most wars, the parties have borne the costs and third parties have benefited.
To date the war has cost Dick Smith $250,000.00 in legal costs- and that is prior to the matter being heard by the Federal Court. Mr Ramsay has also paid legal costs of $170,000.00. No surprise that both sides have now dismissed their lawyers and are now handling the matter personally.
Dick Smith sums up the standard complaint about the legal costs involved with any court case-
"To end up paying hard earned money to the legal profession at exorbitant costs-I’m just not into it."
No doubt Roger Ramsay would agree as he also has dismissed his lawyers.
As is standard, the matter has been referred to mediation, which has failed.
The recriminations by one party against the other are predictable and depressing. Allegations of bad faith, hypocrisy and legal arguments about whether the brand name used by Smith had been abandoned through its non-trading history are but some that have been raised.
There were options for joint ventures, territory allocation, amalgamation, distributor licencing, franchising and product development. Another option was not to do anything about the two brands and spend the financial benefits on advertising and development and ignore the legal quagmire that both parties embarked on.
According to court documents there was an offer by Smith to pay the Ramsay $80,000.00 and both walk away on a “peaceful coexistence” basis. The offer was refused.
For whatever reason, the parties were unable to come to an agreement and the court's decision on the dispute is due. The only certainty is that one will win, one will lose and both sides have spent large amounts of time and money. The losing party can always lodge an Appeal and hope that a fresh throw of the legal dice will achieve a different result. Good luck to all involved. In negotiation jargon this is a “lose-lose result”.
Just as most wars are popular for thirty days the litigation casualty is depressingly long.
One can only speculate and weep on what competent negotiators " mite" have achieved.
Patrick Cavanagh
Negotiation and Mediation Instructor
University of Queensland Law School.
Best Wishes
As 2015 draws to a close, on behalf f the Conflict Resolution Centre I take the opportunity to thank all
colleagues, friends and clients a Merry Christmas and all the best for 2016.
Professional Supervision
The Conflict Resolution Centre provides Professional Supervision for mediators.
See the video at https://www.conflictresolutioncentre.com.au/professional-supervision.html
Resolution Institute
The amalgamation of LEADR and IAMA continues with the selection of "Resolution Institute" as the name of the new organisation.
An election was recently held with the following being elected as Directors at the Annual General Meeting on 26 November:-
Mark Beech, Alysoun Boyle, Jon Everest, John Fisher, Margaret Halsmith, Rosemary Howell, Jeanette Kinahan, Russell Thirgood and David Watt.
The Conflict Resolution Centre congratulates those elected and looks forward to being a part of the Institute in 2016.
National Mediation Conference - September 2016
The bi-annual National Mediation Conference 2016 will commence with pre-conference workshops at the Sofitel Gold Coast on Sunday 11 September 2016. The Conference itself is Monday 12 – Wednesday, 14 September 2016 at the Gold Coast Convention and Exhibition Centre on the Gold Coast, Queensland.
A specific Dispute Resolution Research Forum will be held post-conference on Thursday, 15 September 2016 at Bond University. Attendance at this Research Forum is included in the cost of the Conference.
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
Spring 2015 Newsletter
The integration of LEADR and IAMA
The integration of LEADR and IAMA which commenced early this year, has taken another significant step with the announcement of its new name. After engaging consultants the name selected is Resolution Institute.
The decision was announced shortly before the session of Kon Gres 2015 held in Brisbane on 11 September .
The Conflict Resolution Centre takes this opportunity to wish the Resolution Institute every success in the future.
The Resolution Institute Practitioner Awards
Congratulations to the CEO of Australian Mediations Association, Mr Callum Campbell who was presented with The Practitioner Award for contribution to the professional development of others in Dispute Resolution, at Kon Gres 2015 in Brisbane.
Mr Campbell told the Conflict Resolution Centre that he was very honoured to receive the award from fellow practitioners and is looking forward to new and innovative ways for professional development.
Communication will help to avoid escalating a conflict
Conflicts are a part of our lives. Whether it is in a social setting, at home or at work, they will test our ability to manage them. The workplace is where conflicts very commonly appear, due to many reasons, such as elevated levels of stress, competition or just differing personal opinions. In these situations, a normal conversation usually is the way for the persons involved to communicate with each other and restore the relationship. If each person is able to communicate their views, the chance of finding a solution that will suit both is increased.
Communication done in a proper way may restore a relationship regardless of the environment where the conflict takes place. Not only will it decrease the tension, but it can also lead to a settlement of an issue that, left unresolved, might have detrimental effects on, not only interpersonal relationships, but in the workplace, an organisation's productivity.
Wikepdia has a comprehensive definition of Communication :
Communication (from Latin commūnicāre, meaning "to share") is the purposeful activity of information exchange between two or more participants in order to convey or receive the intended meanings through a shared system of signs and semiotic rules. The basic mechanism of communication is, the ideas/thoughts of the sender is encoded and transmitted to the receiver through a medium wherein the receiver receives the message and decoded it; to understand the message of the sender.
The definition recognises that communication is not limited to talking, it can be achieved by other means. The persons in dispute could communicate with each other by letter, email, text etc
.
If we prepare ourselves we should be able to raise the issues in dispute with the other person. in preparation we should consider:
- what we want to achieve
- if it is a meeting, who do we want to be present
- what are the issues that we want to resolve
- what are options that could be raised
- what will happen if there is no agreement
However we may be reluctant to communicate directly with the other person, out of fear of the reaction or our relationship with that person, such as in the case of an employer and employee.
In those cases professional assistance may be required. We may need coaching in how to handle our conflict or a third party to assist with the communication.
The Conflict Resolution Centre is able to assist on those occasions by conflict management coaching or conducting a mediation.
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
Negotiators fail to end "mite" war
You either love it or loath it- the yeast based spread that generations of Australians have slavishly spread on fresh bread and toast.
To its detractors it is a salty, dark viscous spread that ruins a tasteful breakfast. Its admirers swear by its tangy flavour and health benefits. Few people remain neutral on its attractiveness or repulsion. Most Australians know the product as Vegemite. The English are addicted to their equivalent brand, Marmite.
Now two companies are arguing about the word "mite" and the question of whether the word is the exclusive property of one of two parties and two competing products.
In one corner is entrepreneur and aviation explorer Dick Smith, who produces OzEmite, and in the other corner is company Director Roger Ramsay. Mr Ramsay produces a yeast extract called Aussiemite.
Roger Ramsay has been successful in obtaining an order from Intellectual Property Australia that Dick Smith removes the OzEmite name from the trademark register. Both parties claim the ownership of their products and wish the other to be prohibited from using the name in any way shape or form. Mr Smith is now appealing that decision in the Federal Court.
As with most wars, the costs have been high for both sides and again, as in most wars, the parties have borne the costs and third parties have benefited.
To date the war has cost Dick Smith $250,000.00 in legal costs- and that is prior to the matter being heard by the Federal Court. Mr Ramsay has also paid legal costs of $170,000.00. No surprise that both sides have now dismissed their lawyers and are now handling the matter personally.
Dick Smith sums up the standard complaint about the legal costs involved with any court case-
"To end up paying hard earned money to the legal profession at exorbitant costs-I’m just not into it."
No doubt Roger Ramsay would agree as he also has dismissed his lawyers.
As is standard, the matter has been referred to mediation, which has failed.
The recriminations by one party against the other are predictable and depressing. Allegations of bad faith, hypocrisy and legal arguments about whether the brand name used by Smith had been abandoned through its non-trading history are but some that have been raised.
There were options for joint ventures, territory allocation, amalgamation, distributor licencing, franchising and product development. Another option was not to do anything about the two brands and spend the financial benefits on advertising and development and ignore the legal quagmire that both parties embarked on.
According to court documents there was an offer by Smith to pay the Ramsay $80,000.00 and both walk away on a “peaceful coexistence” basis. The offer was refused.
For whatever reason, the parties were unable to come to an agreement and the court's decision on the dispute is due. The only certainty is that one will win, one will lose and both sides have spent large amounts of time and money. The losing party can always lodge an Appeal and hope that a fresh throw of the legal dice will achieve a different result. Good luck to all involved. In negotiation jargon this is a “lose-lose result”.
Just as most wars are popular for thirty days the litigation casualty is depressingly long.
One can only speculate and weep on what competent negotiators " mite" have achieved.
Patrick Cavanagh
Negotiation and Mediation Instructor
University of Queensland Law School.
Winter 2015 Newsletter
Family Courts New Website
The new Family Court www.familycourt.gov.au and Federal Circuit Court www.federalcircuitcourt.gov.au websites went live on 29 May 2015.
Family Law Court filings 2004-05 to 2012-13
The Australian Institute of Family Studies has published a report which analyses trends in family law court filings over a nine year period between 2004-05 and 2012-13.
The report sheds light on the impact on court filings in children's matters in the 2012-13 reflect a 25% decrease on levels in 2004-05, the period prior to the 2006 family law reforms. The sharp decreases shown in the years just after the 2006 reforms have stabilised at this level.
In relation to filings in property matters, a 17% increase is evident nationally, reflecting the impact of the de facto property reforms in 2008 which shifted jurisdiction over de facto property matters from state and territory systems into the federal system.
(Kaspiew, R., Moloney, L., Dunstan, J., & De Maio, J. (2015). Family law court filings 2004-05 to 2012-13 (Research Report No. 30). Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies)
The full report can be found at - https://aifs.gov.au/publications/family-law-court-filings-2004-05-2012-13
Resolving issues in caring for the elderly
Patrick Wedge
Conflict Resolution Centre
A family can be described as the basic social unit consisting of parents and children. It could also include other relatives and may not just be those living “at home”. Mum and Dad may be living in the home but the children have left, married and have children of their own. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the 2011 Census recorded that most older people live with family members in private dwellings.
In 2011, 56% of people aged 65 years and over lived in a private dwelling with a husband, wife or partner, but only 23% of people aged 85 years and over did so. One quarter of older people lived alone in a private dwelling with 8.2% living with other relatives such as brother or sister or their children.
Generally in the family situation there is a component of sharing of responsibilities, and even decision making, which may change as individual family members grow older, whether that be the children or the parents. The 2011 Census showed that almost one in five older people have a need for assistance with one or more of the core everyday activities of self-care, mobility and communication.
The issue for the other family members and friends is how is that care provided. If you are in that situation as the child, do you provide the care, share the responsibility with your siblings or is someone paid to care for your parent/s?
Siblings and other relatives often do not see eye to eye when it comes to caring for their elderly. When hasty decisions have to be made at unexpected times, the result may be emotional distress for those involved. To prevent these situations arising families could consider advanced planning, enabling family members to reach an early agreement in sharing the responsibilities.
Tips on how to avoid conflict in caring for the elderly:
This article was first published in COTA Queensland on-line Latest News on 4 May2015.
Patrick Wedge
Principal, Conflict Resolution Centre
Transitioning to Aged Care: Mediating the Losses
Trish Carroll, Elder Matters
A defining moment in a person’s life is the transition to residential aged care, and a particularly challenging time for individuals and their families/loved ones is the lead up to the decision to accept a permanent placement in residential aged care.
The experience of loss can be profound for a person considering residential care. The daunting prospect of relinquishing one’s own home, possessions, garden, neighbours, routine, community, pet, independence, sense of self and all that is familiar is difficult enough. Added to this traumatic event is the fact that consideration of aged care is often precipitated by emergent health concerns, unexpected diagnoses, a hospital admission and possibly a family bereavement.
These multiple losses can be overwhelming for any individual and yet the requirements of the health and aged care systems, and increasingly complex legal and financial considerations which surround the decision about care options, often result in the individual’s sense of loss and grief not being acknowledged, recognised or validated.
Families and loved ones are often launched into an unfamiliar world of aged and community care which requires substantial research; endless list making; liaison and advocacy with health professionals; discussion with financial advisors and solicitors; and navigating multiple bureaucracies, including Centrelink. This process can be enormously stressful for families/loved ones and may occur in the context of their own experience of: loss and grief, carer stress, physical and psychological exhaustion, and complex family dynamics.
Of course there is the all-important choice of an aged care facility by the individual and family/loved ones. This can involve emotionally charged visits to different facilities to assess how well they meet pre-determined needs and expectations, and the inevitable questions and anguish about waiting lists. This search for a care facility often happens within a short space of time to meet hospital discharge requirements, perhaps with the assistance of an aged care placement agent, and then begins the process of waiting!
Impact
The common theme for individuals and families considering and experiencing transition to residential aged care is the sense of profound loss and grief, and yet often there is no time, inclination or opportunity to recognise or express this grief.
Importantly, each individual’s experience of loss is unique, informed by their own personal, health and family circumstances, their life experience, expectations of self and others, and their perceived role in the decision making process. This uniqueness creates different expressions of grief and stress within families, and it is here that difficulties and/or conflict can emerge and grow – to varying degrees and with a range of consequences.
Where concerns, difficulties and/or conflict arises in the context of a person’s transition to residential aged care, or changing elder care circumstances, please consider the following:
Finally, we cannot influence how others experience loss and grief associated with the transition to aged care. We can recognise this as a defining moment for each member of a family and consider how we can offer support and understanding, as far as we are able.
Assistance and Support
Individuals and families experiencing the challenges of transition to care may benefit from support or assistance in the form of counselling, education, facilitated conversations or elder mediation.
Please also remember that providing care and support to others through the transition to care process requires a focus on our own health and wellbeing - to sustain ourselves and others.
Trish Carroll,
Director, Elder Matters
[email protected]
www.eldermatters.com.au
Family Courts New Website
The new Family Court www.familycourt.gov.au and Federal Circuit Court www.federalcircuitcourt.gov.au websites went live on 29 May 2015.
Family Law Court filings 2004-05 to 2012-13
The Australian Institute of Family Studies has published a report which analyses trends in family law court filings over a nine year period between 2004-05 and 2012-13.
The report sheds light on the impact on court filings in children's matters in the 2012-13 reflect a 25% decrease on levels in 2004-05, the period prior to the 2006 family law reforms. The sharp decreases shown in the years just after the 2006 reforms have stabilised at this level.
In relation to filings in property matters, a 17% increase is evident nationally, reflecting the impact of the de facto property reforms in 2008 which shifted jurisdiction over de facto property matters from state and territory systems into the federal system.
(Kaspiew, R., Moloney, L., Dunstan, J., & De Maio, J. (2015). Family law court filings 2004-05 to 2012-13 (Research Report No. 30). Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies)
The full report can be found at - https://aifs.gov.au/publications/family-law-court-filings-2004-05-2012-13
Resolving issues in caring for the elderly
Patrick Wedge
Conflict Resolution Centre
A family can be described as the basic social unit consisting of parents and children. It could also include other relatives and may not just be those living “at home”. Mum and Dad may be living in the home but the children have left, married and have children of their own. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the 2011 Census recorded that most older people live with family members in private dwellings.
In 2011, 56% of people aged 65 years and over lived in a private dwelling with a husband, wife or partner, but only 23% of people aged 85 years and over did so. One quarter of older people lived alone in a private dwelling with 8.2% living with other relatives such as brother or sister or their children.
Generally in the family situation there is a component of sharing of responsibilities, and even decision making, which may change as individual family members grow older, whether that be the children or the parents. The 2011 Census showed that almost one in five older people have a need for assistance with one or more of the core everyday activities of self-care, mobility and communication.
The issue for the other family members and friends is how is that care provided. If you are in that situation as the child, do you provide the care, share the responsibility with your siblings or is someone paid to care for your parent/s?
Siblings and other relatives often do not see eye to eye when it comes to caring for their elderly. When hasty decisions have to be made at unexpected times, the result may be emotional distress for those involved. To prevent these situations arising families could consider advanced planning, enabling family members to reach an early agreement in sharing the responsibilities.
Tips on how to avoid conflict in caring for the elderly:
- Practice Empathy. Watching the elderly age and lose the ability to care for themselves is such a difficult part of life. Try to have compassion and remember that your loved one is coping with their declining health and loss of independence. They may feel that they are a burden and may take on the added guilt of thinking that they are the cause of any family conflict.
- Stop assuming and start talking. Sometimes families are unprepared for the task of caring for the elderly and the lack of an agreed plan can lead to miscommunications and cause arguments. Be open, honest and don’t be quick to make assumptions. If you find yourself doing all the work, don’t hesitate to ask for help.
- Realistically divide responsibilities. Sharing responsibilities is the easiest way to avoid conflict. To ensure a smooth outcome, keep each siblings strengths in mind when organising tasks.
- Make regular communication a priority. To avoid miscommunication, communicate regularly, even in simplest way. Caring for the elderly may mean that you have to be flexible and adapt to meet care-giving challenges. Make a schedule to check in with the members of the family to see if the plan is working.
- Consider a Mediator. If you need help in organising the care for your loved one, it may be opportune to call for outside help. A person who is specialized in any of these fields like nursing, gerontology and social work that can help provide expert advice to your family. An Elder Mediator could bring together the various family members and others involved in the care to discuss the care needs and other needs.
This article was first published in COTA Queensland on-line Latest News on 4 May2015.
Patrick Wedge
Principal, Conflict Resolution Centre
Transitioning to Aged Care: Mediating the Losses
Trish Carroll, Elder Matters
A defining moment in a person’s life is the transition to residential aged care, and a particularly challenging time for individuals and their families/loved ones is the lead up to the decision to accept a permanent placement in residential aged care.
The experience of loss can be profound for a person considering residential care. The daunting prospect of relinquishing one’s own home, possessions, garden, neighbours, routine, community, pet, independence, sense of self and all that is familiar is difficult enough. Added to this traumatic event is the fact that consideration of aged care is often precipitated by emergent health concerns, unexpected diagnoses, a hospital admission and possibly a family bereavement.
These multiple losses can be overwhelming for any individual and yet the requirements of the health and aged care systems, and increasingly complex legal and financial considerations which surround the decision about care options, often result in the individual’s sense of loss and grief not being acknowledged, recognised or validated.
Families and loved ones are often launched into an unfamiliar world of aged and community care which requires substantial research; endless list making; liaison and advocacy with health professionals; discussion with financial advisors and solicitors; and navigating multiple bureaucracies, including Centrelink. This process can be enormously stressful for families/loved ones and may occur in the context of their own experience of: loss and grief, carer stress, physical and psychological exhaustion, and complex family dynamics.
Of course there is the all-important choice of an aged care facility by the individual and family/loved ones. This can involve emotionally charged visits to different facilities to assess how well they meet pre-determined needs and expectations, and the inevitable questions and anguish about waiting lists. This search for a care facility often happens within a short space of time to meet hospital discharge requirements, perhaps with the assistance of an aged care placement agent, and then begins the process of waiting!
Impact
The common theme for individuals and families considering and experiencing transition to residential aged care is the sense of profound loss and grief, and yet often there is no time, inclination or opportunity to recognise or express this grief.
Importantly, each individual’s experience of loss is unique, informed by their own personal, health and family circumstances, their life experience, expectations of self and others, and their perceived role in the decision making process. This uniqueness creates different expressions of grief and stress within families, and it is here that difficulties and/or conflict can emerge and grow – to varying degrees and with a range of consequences.
Where concerns, difficulties and/or conflict arises in the context of a person’s transition to residential aged care, or changing elder care circumstances, please consider the following:
- We each perceive our loved one’s transition to care according to our own life experience and our own unique relationship with them;
- Each individual will experience and express loss, grief and transition differently, at different times and to varying degrees and intensity – there are no `shoulds’ or `musts’ around how we experience grief;
- The experience of loss and grief can elicit a range of behavioural, psychological and/or physical symptoms which can be `out of character’ and impact on how we communicate with each other– taking this personally is unhelpful and can create and/or exacerbate interpersonal conflict at a time when working together can be most constructive.
- Naming the multiple stresses and losses surrounding transition to care, and speaking openly about them with our loved ones, where possible, can defuse tension and start a more helpful conversation;
- The sheer exhaustion of ongoing elder care can trigger symptoms of grief and loss which can easily be misinterpreted – the impact of ongoing elder care on a person’s health and wellbeing cannot be underestimated;
- We all have different expectations of community and aged care – focussing on what is best for our loved one can be a unifying topic of conversation; and
- Any essence of conflict or family disagreement can exacerbate the experience of profound grief and loss for the person transitioning to aged care, and has the potential to seriously affect their health and wellbeing.
Finally, we cannot influence how others experience loss and grief associated with the transition to aged care. We can recognise this as a defining moment for each member of a family and consider how we can offer support and understanding, as far as we are able.
Assistance and Support
Individuals and families experiencing the challenges of transition to care may benefit from support or assistance in the form of counselling, education, facilitated conversations or elder mediation.
Please also remember that providing care and support to others through the transition to care process requires a focus on our own health and wellbeing - to sustain ourselves and others.
Trish Carroll,
Director, Elder Matters
[email protected]
www.eldermatters.com.au
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Autumn 2015 Newsletter
Welcome to the Autumn 2015 Newsletter
What is Peace?
"If war is the violent resolution of conflict, then peace is not the absence of conflict, but rather, the ability to resolve conflict without violence." – C.T. Lawrence Butler
National Mediator Accreditation System 2015
The Directors of the Mediator Standards Board are pleased to advise that the revised National Mediator Accreditation System was approved at a meeting of the Board on 11 February 2015 and will come into effect on 1 July 2015 and can be viewed at www.msb.org.au.
The existing Approval and Practice Standards remain current until 1 July 2015.
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
mob:0488 580 062
Underlying family dynamics- A recent family law case
In an appeal to the Full Court of the Family Court of Australia (Tindall & Saldo [2015] GamCAFC1) the court had to deal with thirteen grounds of appeal by the mother.
The matters for determination included whether the commencement of a criminal trial of the father, who had numerous serious criminal offences in relation to the mother and their child.
The trial judge had found that the commencement of the trial and the guilty plea by the father did not change the "underlying family dynamic" and did not provide reasonable grounds for the mother to contravene court orders. The Appeal Court found that the trial judge had erred, as there was a palpable change in the family dynamics.
The Court also found that the trial judge had erred in finding that supervised time by the paternal grandmother would have allayed the mother's fears of the father spending time with the child.
Are the qualities of a mediator more important than skills?
By Meike Brandon
Different authors have suggested that the personal qualities of a mediator are perhaps more important to any of the skills and techniques they have been taught.
Research conducted by Helen Collins (2005) suggested that the qualities that are most mentioned are: empathy, presence, genuineness, authenticity, connection, compassion, acknowledgement, understanding, engagement, and emotional intelligence so parties feel hear and valued.
Additionally, mediators in their role need to accept and feel comfortable with conflict and the expression of high emotions. They need to develop trust, be able to tolerate ambiguity and contradictions, be able to shift between roles, be mindful, neutral, unbiased and be disinterested in the outcome.
Mediators need to be seen to be patient, even-handed, impartial, fair, respectful, trustworthy, intuitive, curious, and have professional boundaries. Overall they need to have self-awareness and self-knowledge as a result of reflection in and on their practice.
See Helen Collins: “The most important qualities a mediator needs”,
https://icfml.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/the20mostimportantpersonalqualitiesamediatorneeds_collins2005.pdf
Mieke Brandon, registered FDRP and NMAS accredited mediator, trainer and author of many articles.
Co-author of Mediating with Families (3rd ed. Thomson Reuters, 2012) and Conflict and Dispute Resolution(Oxford University Press, 2007).
Conflict Management Coaching- Helping clients prepare for Mediation
This is an abridged version of an article by Patrick Wedge which appeared in the February edition of Proctor published by the Queensland Law Society. To read the full article go to www.conflictresolutioncentre.com.au/blog
From time to time we have a conflict within ourselves or with another person or even a group of people. Mostly we are able to deal with this conflict ourselves, finding a suitable resolution, enabling us to move on with our lives. Sometimes however, the conflict is not resolved, which leaves us at risk of not being able to move forward.
Dispute dynamics
People who interact with each other when they are in dispute may be more focussed on arguing rather than solving the problem of their relationship. They may not be interested in resolving the dispute, preferring to "see you in court".
In life relationships, they can end up acting destructively towards one another. Consequently, people may come to the mediation room still not completely solution focussed, which could detract from the outcome of the mediation.
One way of assisting people improve their management of the conflict is for them to be coached.
Conflict Management Coaching
Conflict Management Coaching is designed to help people shift their thinking, perspectives and behaviour, either on a specific dispute or generally. It is about self-empowering the person in dealing with their conflicts. As people generally are unable to change other people's behaviour, coaching assists them to work out strategies that they can use in dealing with the person with whom they are in dispute.
Coaching isn't necessarily limited to just one session. Having more than one session allows the client to review their goals and readjust them in the light of their experience in implementing their earlier strategies. It can be useful in workplace disputes, business dealings, family disputes and other areas where there is interpersonal relationships. It may be a step on the way to a mediation or a stand-alone activity to assist a person generally gain more competence in managing their conflicts.
Conflict Management Coaching is another option for Alternative Dispute Resolution Practitioners to have in their tool kit for use by clients working toward resolving their conflict. It is not for everyone and it must be stated that such coaching is not therapy nor is it counselling.
Copyright © 2015 Conflict Resolution Centre, All rights reserved.
Welcome to the Autumn 2015 Newsletter
What is Peace?
"If war is the violent resolution of conflict, then peace is not the absence of conflict, but rather, the ability to resolve conflict without violence." – C.T. Lawrence Butler
National Mediator Accreditation System 2015
The Directors of the Mediator Standards Board are pleased to advise that the revised National Mediator Accreditation System was approved at a meeting of the Board on 11 February 2015 and will come into effect on 1 July 2015 and can be viewed at www.msb.org.au.
The existing Approval and Practice Standards remain current until 1 July 2015.
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
mob:0488 580 062
Underlying family dynamics- A recent family law case
In an appeal to the Full Court of the Family Court of Australia (Tindall & Saldo [2015] GamCAFC1) the court had to deal with thirteen grounds of appeal by the mother.
The matters for determination included whether the commencement of a criminal trial of the father, who had numerous serious criminal offences in relation to the mother and their child.
The trial judge had found that the commencement of the trial and the guilty plea by the father did not change the "underlying family dynamic" and did not provide reasonable grounds for the mother to contravene court orders. The Appeal Court found that the trial judge had erred, as there was a palpable change in the family dynamics.
The Court also found that the trial judge had erred in finding that supervised time by the paternal grandmother would have allayed the mother's fears of the father spending time with the child.
Are the qualities of a mediator more important than skills?
By Meike Brandon
Different authors have suggested that the personal qualities of a mediator are perhaps more important to any of the skills and techniques they have been taught.
Research conducted by Helen Collins (2005) suggested that the qualities that are most mentioned are: empathy, presence, genuineness, authenticity, connection, compassion, acknowledgement, understanding, engagement, and emotional intelligence so parties feel hear and valued.
Additionally, mediators in their role need to accept and feel comfortable with conflict and the expression of high emotions. They need to develop trust, be able to tolerate ambiguity and contradictions, be able to shift between roles, be mindful, neutral, unbiased and be disinterested in the outcome.
Mediators need to be seen to be patient, even-handed, impartial, fair, respectful, trustworthy, intuitive, curious, and have professional boundaries. Overall they need to have self-awareness and self-knowledge as a result of reflection in and on their practice.
See Helen Collins: “The most important qualities a mediator needs”,
https://icfml.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/the20mostimportantpersonalqualitiesamediatorneeds_collins2005.pdf
Mieke Brandon, registered FDRP and NMAS accredited mediator, trainer and author of many articles.
Co-author of Mediating with Families (3rd ed. Thomson Reuters, 2012) and Conflict and Dispute Resolution(Oxford University Press, 2007).
Conflict Management Coaching- Helping clients prepare for Mediation
This is an abridged version of an article by Patrick Wedge which appeared in the February edition of Proctor published by the Queensland Law Society. To read the full article go to www.conflictresolutioncentre.com.au/blog
From time to time we have a conflict within ourselves or with another person or even a group of people. Mostly we are able to deal with this conflict ourselves, finding a suitable resolution, enabling us to move on with our lives. Sometimes however, the conflict is not resolved, which leaves us at risk of not being able to move forward.
Dispute dynamics
People who interact with each other when they are in dispute may be more focussed on arguing rather than solving the problem of their relationship. They may not be interested in resolving the dispute, preferring to "see you in court".
In life relationships, they can end up acting destructively towards one another. Consequently, people may come to the mediation room still not completely solution focussed, which could detract from the outcome of the mediation.
One way of assisting people improve their management of the conflict is for them to be coached.
Conflict Management Coaching
Conflict Management Coaching is designed to help people shift their thinking, perspectives and behaviour, either on a specific dispute or generally. It is about self-empowering the person in dealing with their conflicts. As people generally are unable to change other people's behaviour, coaching assists them to work out strategies that they can use in dealing with the person with whom they are in dispute.
Coaching isn't necessarily limited to just one session. Having more than one session allows the client to review their goals and readjust them in the light of their experience in implementing their earlier strategies. It can be useful in workplace disputes, business dealings, family disputes and other areas where there is interpersonal relationships. It may be a step on the way to a mediation or a stand-alone activity to assist a person generally gain more competence in managing their conflicts.
Conflict Management Coaching is another option for Alternative Dispute Resolution Practitioners to have in their tool kit for use by clients working toward resolving their conflict. It is not for everyone and it must be stated that such coaching is not therapy nor is it counselling.
Copyright © 2015 Conflict Resolution Centre, All rights reserved.
Summer 2014 Newsletter
If it matters, it's worth mediating
Welcome to Newsletter No 2 from the Conflict Resolution Centre Summer 2014
Season's Greetings
As we approach the end of 2014, I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and all the best for 2015.
QLS ADR Committee
I am very happy to announce that I have been invited to be on the Queensland Law Society ADR Committee, commencing in 2015.
The Committee is chaired by Khory McCormick, Partner, MinterEllison.
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
If it matters, it's worth mediating
Welcome to Newsletter No 2 from the Conflict Resolution Centre Summer 2014
Season's Greetings
As we approach the end of 2014, I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and all the best for 2015.
QLS ADR Committee
I am very happy to announce that I have been invited to be on the Queensland Law Society ADR Committee, commencing in 2015.
The Committee is chaired by Khory McCormick, Partner, MinterEllison.
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
The Conflict Resolution Centre
The Centre conducts Alternative Dispute Resolution Services, such as:
- mediation
- conflict management coaching
- information and referrals.
Mediations, include -
- Post separation Parenting Plans
- Plans for grandparents
- Child Consultancy conference in the context of Child Inclusive Mediation
- Post separation property agreements (financial agreements)
- Family Provisions in deceased estates
- Elder mediation
- Community disputes
- Workplace disputes
The Centre provides conflict management coaching for clients to enable them to better manage the conflict.
Service Centre
The Centre is now able to better service South East Queensland with interviewing facilities in the northern (Geebung) and southern (Underwood) suburbs of Brisbane, as well as the Gold Coast (Southport).
Methodology
Generally, the facilitative model of Mediation is used but the mediators draw on the different models as the circumstances require.
The ©CINERGY model of Conflict Management Coaching is used with clients when they are being coached.
A recent case
On 29 November the Courier Mail reported about a recent case regarding children spending time with their parents- "Selfish separated parents who repeatedly try to stop their children from having a relationship with the other parent are having the kids taken off them by courts."
The paper reported the the judge ordered that "the girl,8, who had lived with her mother since her parents separated when she was just 13 months old, instead live with the father.
Changing the child's primary carer from the mother to the father was the only way the girl could have a meaningful relationship with both parents, Judge Evelyn Bender decided."
For the court's decision, see R&S [2014] FCCA 2668
IAMA and LEADR Integration
At general meetings held on 10 November members of both LEADR and IAMA voted in support of the integration of IAMA and LEADR.
The decision will provide an integrated ADR organisation as of 1 January 2015.
Conflict Management
Sweet Conflict
It may be hard to imagine the word conflict being qualified by the adjective “sweet”. Yet, think of the times that goodness comes from reconciling differences that had been having a negative impact on a relationship.
Think, too, of the relief experienced after expressing unspoken truths and the outcome of doing so is positive. Think of the importance of finding how we inadvertently contributed to someone’s upset and have the chance to make it ‘right’ .
Think of mending the breakdown in our communications with a person we care about and how good that feels. Think, too, what it feels like to find mutually satisfying resolution despite our opposing viewpoints. And, in that regard, think of what it’s like when we acknowledge we may not agree on everything but still show gracious respect for one another’s perspective.
These are some aspects of what constitutes “sweet” conflict as I see it, and they contemplate, among other things, that we have lots to gain from dynamics that appear to be fraught with hurt and anger and seemingly irreconcilable differences. That is, if we consider the possibility of learning from our conflicts we may just end up enjoying the sweetness of knowing the other person – and ourselves – better because we share what’s important to each of us and are wiser because we dare to do so.
The post Sweet Conflict appeared first on Cinergy Coaching http://www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/
Cinnie Noble on Dec 16, 2014
CINERGY®
Mediation
Successful Mediation
Mediation involves people in dispute enlisting the assistance of a neutral third party (the mediator). It is the role of the mediator to help them identify their issues and explore options to resolve their dispute with the aim of reaching an agreement which accommodates the needs of each.
No mediator has a magic wand though and so to reach a satisfactory and workable outcome, one or the other or both parties must move towards meeting the needs of the other. The outcome is not necessarily in the middle but will be somewhere between each person’s ideal solution. Where both parties are prepared to compromise, then the chances of a resolution increase immeasurably.
One of the distinct features of mediation is that each party holds within themselves the power to achieve a resolution and to ensure they are able to live with the outcome. This is very different from a choice to go to Court and hand over power and control to the Judge who will ultimately make a decision that one or the other or even neither party may be happy with.
Not only do mediating parties retain control of any outcome, but if they do reach a solution, then the savings in both legal costs and emotional stress are usually significant. Such savings are worthwhile results in themselves.
Mike Emerson
Co-Principal
Brisbane Mediations
www.brisbanemediations.com.au
Spring 2014 Newsletter
www.tomstodulka.com.auWelcome to the first Newsletter from the Conflict Resolution Centre Spring 2014
Announcement
I am excited to announce that I have established the Conflict Resolution Centre.
The Centre conducts Alternative Dispute Resolution Services, such as:
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
The Centre
The Centre conducts mediations, including -
The Centre provides Conflict Management Coaching
for clients to enable them to better manage the conflict.
Methodology
Generally, the facilitative model of Mediation is used but the mediators draw on the different models as the circumstances require.
The ©CINERGY model of Conflict Management Coaching is used with clients when they are being coached.
Court Cases
Informal wills
An electronic document created on deceased's iphone has been accepted as a Will.
In Re: Yu [2013] QSC 322 the court heard that the deceased took his own life and shortly before he died he created a series of documents (including a will) on his iPhone.
The court accepted that the deceased intended the document which he created on his iPhone to form his Will and it was admitted to probate.
Items of interest
Prenups
Earlier this year, but it is still current, the Brisbane Times published an article headed "Demand falls as lawyers advise first wives against prenups". The article said that family lawyers report demand for prenuptual agreements has plateaued in the past 18 months, and is now declining slightly, as more firms refuse to draw them up because of the risk that they will be overturned by the Family Court (9 February 2014).
National Mediation Standards
The Mediation Standards Board is currently revising the National Mediation Standards and has asked it members for their comments on the revision. In the letter to its members, the Chairman, Mr Laurence Boulle, says that the revision will make "a big contribution to the improvement of professional mediator standards in Australia and to positioning the country well in the global development of mediation."
Versatility of mediation skills
As we see an increasing number of students participating in mediation courses across Australia it is often remarked that there should be an increasing number of opportunities for new graduates to find
work in the ADR field. This would be a logical conclusion, however, in reality, it is unlikely to occur, nor does it matter as many graduates will not actually be leaving their existing employment.
Many skills learned on a mediation course will be, I believe, hugely beneficial to anybody studying ADR. The skills learned are as useful in the work environment as in the home or in any situation requiring listening and gaining a better understanding of relationships or dynamics faced in everyday life.
As we live in an increasingly complex world and often being expected to cope with more conflict and stress, training as a mediator gives us a skills set and better understanding of the dynamics of conflict. It prepares us to gain insights and the tools which are necessary in our busy and competitive world.
Tom Stodulka
www.tomstodulka.com
Announcement
I am excited to announce that I have established the Conflict Resolution Centre.
The Centre conducts Alternative Dispute Resolution Services, such as:
- mediation
- conflict management coaching
- information and referrals.
Patrick Wedge
Principal
Conflict Resolution Centre
The Centre
The Centre conducts mediations, including -
- Post separation Parenting Plans
- Plans for grandparents
- Child Consultancy conference in the context of Child Inclusive Mediation
- Post separation property agreements (financial agreements)
- Family Provisions in deceased estates
- Elder mediation
- Community disputes
- Workplace disputes
The Centre provides Conflict Management Coaching
for clients to enable them to better manage the conflict.
Methodology
Generally, the facilitative model of Mediation is used but the mediators draw on the different models as the circumstances require.
The ©CINERGY model of Conflict Management Coaching is used with clients when they are being coached.
Court Cases
Informal wills
An electronic document created on deceased's iphone has been accepted as a Will.
In Re: Yu [2013] QSC 322 the court heard that the deceased took his own life and shortly before he died he created a series of documents (including a will) on his iPhone.
The court accepted that the deceased intended the document which he created on his iPhone to form his Will and it was admitted to probate.
Items of interest
Prenups
Earlier this year, but it is still current, the Brisbane Times published an article headed "Demand falls as lawyers advise first wives against prenups". The article said that family lawyers report demand for prenuptual agreements has plateaued in the past 18 months, and is now declining slightly, as more firms refuse to draw them up because of the risk that they will be overturned by the Family Court (9 February 2014).
National Mediation Standards
The Mediation Standards Board is currently revising the National Mediation Standards and has asked it members for their comments on the revision. In the letter to its members, the Chairman, Mr Laurence Boulle, says that the revision will make "a big contribution to the improvement of professional mediator standards in Australia and to positioning the country well in the global development of mediation."
Versatility of mediation skills
As we see an increasing number of students participating in mediation courses across Australia it is often remarked that there should be an increasing number of opportunities for new graduates to find
work in the ADR field. This would be a logical conclusion, however, in reality, it is unlikely to occur, nor does it matter as many graduates will not actually be leaving their existing employment.
Many skills learned on a mediation course will be, I believe, hugely beneficial to anybody studying ADR. The skills learned are as useful in the work environment as in the home or in any situation requiring listening and gaining a better understanding of relationships or dynamics faced in everyday life.
As we live in an increasingly complex world and often being expected to cope with more conflict and stress, training as a mediator gives us a skills set and better understanding of the dynamics of conflict. It prepares us to gain insights and the tools which are necessary in our busy and competitive world.
Tom Stodulka
www.tomstodulka.com